Jokes: new

An English professor wrote on the blackboard: "A woman without her man is nothing" and asked the class to properly punctuate the sentence. All the males in the class wrote: "A woman, without her man, is nothing" All the females in the class wrote: "A woman: without her, man is nothing" Punctuation is powerful!
Votes: 1 Your vote: 0 1 2 -1		Was sended by: jekky 01.06.2007

Are you ganstas ? NO, We are RUSSIANS!
Votes: 0 Your vote: 0 1 2 -1		Was sended by: Dimidrol 18.02.2006

Love means never having to say, "Does that twenty include the spanking?"
Votes: 0 Your vote: 0 1 2 -1		Was sended by: BigBoy 10.12.03

BEER. For the women: 25 reasons why beer is better than men: 1. Beer makes you feel better when you have your period. 2. Beer stains don't smell funny the next day. 3. Beer goes where you want it to. 4. Your beer will always wait patiently for you in the car while you try on shoes at the mall. 5. Your beer never suffers performance anxiety. 6. When your beer won't get a head up, you can toss it out. 7. Beer doesn't stand there tapping it wristwatch. 8. No woman ever got stood up by a beer. 9. A beer doesn't start a fistfight with an ale. 10. Puking will rid you of that queasy feeling you get when you made the wrong choice. 11. Beer doesn't get drunk and call you at 3am to beg. 12. You don't need a restraining order with bad beer. 13. I never met a beer with a criminal record. 14. Beer labels come off when you want them to. 15. When you go to a bar, you can pick up a beer without worrying about that tan line on his ring finger. 16. You can pick up a beer in a bar right in front of your mom and she won't mind. 17. Beer never has a bad temper. 18. A beer won't throw you into the back seat of a 76' Datsun and dry hump you under a mercury vapor lamp. 19. A beer won't toss you in the passenger seat of a Mazda RX7 and show you it can go 100MPH on a flat stretch. 20. A beer doesn't bring strange people home with it. 21. Its easy to give beer good head with minimal shaking up. 22. You don't have to worry about a gag reflex with beer. 23. You can have more than one beer in a night without feeling sore. 24. You can talk to your girlfriends about your beer without it getting pissed off. 25. You have a good idea where that beer has been before you got it. 26. No one ever had to sleep in a beer spot. 27. Beer doesn't dis' you because you are a babe. 28. A beer won't shove its hand up your dress at your graduation party. 29. You don't have to fake it for a beer. Beer has no ego. 30. A cold beer is a good beer. 31. Beer tastes good. 32. Beer doesn't leave you. It snuggles around your hips for a lifetime. 33. A beer doesn't hate your cat. 34. You can get six at once without taxing yourself. 35. A beer doesn't mind if you don't finish.
Votes: 4 Your vote: 0 1 2 -1		Was sended by: tolstyi-uk 23.12.02

The wife with the lover lay in bed. Phone call. The wife has taken a tube, was a few words. The lover: - who called? - the Husband. Has told that he's playing with you in a chess.
Votes: 4 Your vote: 0 1 2 -1		Was sended by: eLinBi 14.10.02

Slowely one by one the pinguns steal my sanity...
Votes: 2 Your vote: 0 1 2 -1		Was sended by: Skittle 10.10.02

I'm the nicest person on earth hahahahahahahahah
Votes: 1 Your vote: 0 1 2 -1		Was sended by: Panic 03.08.02

A policeman pulls over a car with a man with a little boy in it. The policeman gave the man a ticket and left. The man says-Bastard! the little boy goes-dad, what's a bastard? the man's like-well, um its another name for a policeman. the boy-oh ok. so they come home and the dad slips on the doormat-shit! he swears. the boy-dad, what's shit? the dad-um, its another word for doormat, yes, that's it. the boy-oh ok. he goes in the kitchen where his mother's cooking the chicken. she accidentally burns herself and goes-FUCK! the kid's like-mum, whats fuck. the mum-it's another word for to cook something. meantime the dad is in the bathroom shawing. he cuts himself and says-Arse! the boy is there and once again questioning wat arse means.-another word for chin, says dad. soon, the policeman shows up on their doorstep. the boy answers the door. -Oh, hi bastard! be careful not to step on the shit, it's slippery. come in, mum's in the kitchen fuking the chicken and dad's in the bathroom shawing his arse.
Votes: 8 Your vote: 0 1 2 -1		Was sended by: JUL 09.07.02

- Halt! Who's coming? - Nobody is coming anywhere!
Votes: 4 Your vote: 0 1 2 -1		Was sended by: 21.06.02

- Life became hard for honest people? - What's it to you? /Zadornov
Votes: 2 Your vote: 0 1 2 -1		Was sended by: 21.06.02

The more liquid there is in a body, the more this body gets evicted from everywhere! /almost Archimedes
Votes: 3 Your vote: 0 1 2 -1		Was sended by: 21.06.02

- Are you single? - Yes, for the third time.
Votes: 3 Your vote: 0 1 2 -1		Was sended by: KHAN 21.06.02

Do something good at times. There is nothing bad about doing something good. /G. Malkin
Votes: 7 Your vote: 0 1 2 -1		Was sended by: 21.06.02

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